Making Love While Pregnant
Sex during pregnancy
The moment you become pregnant, sex changes. It's hard to put into words or explain why, but changing the goal of sex from procreation to recreation changes feelings, attitudes, desires, and ultimately even lovemaking positions. The wacky thing about this is that the changes are unique to each couple. There's no telling if you'll now crave sex more, or if it will become a complete turnoff. Every woman is different in this area (and every man, too!). Only one thing is for sure: Whatever you feel about sex during pregnancy, it is perfectly normal and should not be hidden from your partner. This is one subject you both need to talk about throughout the pregnancy.
Your own feelings about sex might have changed now that your partner is pregnant. Some men find pregnancy highly erotic. Others see their sex drive take a dive as they struggle with the physical changes their partner is experiencing. The transformation of lover into mother can be disconcerting. Some men lose interest because they're worried about hurting the baby. Whatever your feelings, rest assured that you're not the first to go through this. Talk honestly to your partner; she, too, is probably struggling with a changing sex drive.
If you suddenly can't get enough of your lover now that you're pregnant, there's a good reason or two for this. You no longer have the worry of getting pregnant or using cumbersome birth-control devices. You might also find that pregnancy has made you feel closer than ever to your husband. Many women find their blossoming bodies very sensual and the idea of carrying a new life inside very erotic. It's even true that some women experience more intense orgasms (or even their first orgasm) during pregnancy; this might happen because the increased blood flow to the pelvic area during pregnancy can heighten sensation in the genitals.
If you suddenly can't stand the thought of sex, there's good reason for this, too. The fatigue and nausea of the first trimester can be strong libido zappers. And feeling fat, awkward, and clumsy later in the pregnancy isn't exactly an aphrodisiac. Some women also struggle with the change of roles from "lover" to "mother." The parts of the body that used to be fun are now working in a very functional manner. Your breasts might feel sore and swollen. And the increased flow of blood to your vagina might make you feel overly sensitive in that area. Some women even experience abdominal cramps during or after intercourse. And finally, you might worry about hurting the baby. All these things make it perfectly natural to shy away from sexual intercourse.
If you find your interest in sex is changing, whether you want more or less, talk to your partner about it. Don't bottle up your feelings. They'll never be resolved unless you make an effort to get them out into the open. Being honest about your own feelings will encourage your partner to do the same. Men have changing sexual needs during pregnancy, too. You might find that this gives you both an opportunity to find new and more satisfying ways to make love.
Excerpted from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth © 2004 by Michele Isaac Gliksman, M.D. and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. Used by arrangement with Alpha Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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