Sexuality After Pregnancy

Wait until you're ready

Probably the last thing on your mind right now is resuming sexual relations. Many women express the feeling that sex at this time is too painful and too much to cope with. They need to rest, get enough sleep and get back into a routine before they start thinking about sex again.

Resuming sexual relations can be a little difficult. You may be concerned about pain. That's natural. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take it easy and go slowly. Don't have sexual intercourse until you feel ready. Share your feelings and concerns with your partner.

Your sex drive, and that of your partner, can be affected by stress, emotions and fatigue. In fact, there are physical reasons you may not feel like having sex, including your changing estrogen level, which can cause vaginal dryness and irritation. You are probably still bleeding, too. If you had an episiotomy, that may add to your discomfort. And with all the changes your body has gone through, you just may not feel sexy right now. That's OK.

In the past, we advised a woman to wait at least 6 weeks before having intercourse. Today, we tell a woman to let her body be her guide, but 6 weeks is still a good suggestion. You probably won't feel like it anyway until then. If you feel no pain or discomfort and your episiotomy is healed, you can resume sexual relations when you feel up to it. Be sure bleeding has stopped. For most women, this is at least 4 to 6 weeks after delivery. Talk to your partner to make sure he isn't expecting to resume relations with you 1 or 2 weeks after delivery when you're thinking it will be 4 to 6 weeks.

When you do decide to have sex again, you can take some steps to make the experience more enjoyable for both of you. Try the following.

• Be sure you are healed enough to have sexual intercourse. If you aren't sure, call your doctor for advice.
• Use lots of lubricant to relieve vaginal dryness and to avoid irritation from friction (avoid petroleum jelly if you use condoms).
• If you use the woman-on-top position, you can control the amount of penetration.
• Foreplay can add pleasure to your sexual experience.
• Don't focus on your body and the way it looks; if your partner says you're attractive, believe him.
• Remember, there are alternatives to sexual intercourse. Kissing and caressing can be great turn-ons.

When you decide to have intercourse, take precautions if you don't want to get pregnant again immediately. You can become pregnant before you have a menstrual period. Read the section on birth control that follows, and be sure to discuss birth control options with your doctor.

If you used a diaphragm or cervical cap before pregnancy, you need to be refitted after the birth. The size of a woman's cervix often changes after she has a baby, so these devices might not fit correctly or work effectively after baby's birth.