Tips for New Moms: Three Steps for Sanity
Adopt a "Whatever Works" MentalityA mother of three once told me how she handled it when her children's pacifiers fell on the floor: "With the first baby, I washed and sterilized it. With the second, I wiped off the 'paci' on my jeans. With the third, I shoved it back in the baby's mouth, usually after the dog had a chance to lick it."
Having subsequent children teaches moms and dads to adopt a "whatever works" mentality. After all, with two or more small children swarming your hive, you may be willing to incur later dentist bills and let your babe take a bottle to bed. A warped adult may be the least of your worries when night after night your toddler climbs into your bed, scared of the monsters in his closet.
A sage mom, one of my mentors, once told me how her father-in-law frowned to see his grandson standing on the coffee table to reach something on a shelf. Given that Mom's attention was so often on her baby daughter, she brushed this disapproval off as if it were lint. "Around here, Dad," she said, "we do whatever works."
Don't wait until a second child or a crisis hits to enjoy the wisdom of "whatever works." What a gift it is to those you love, when you dispense with formalities and make your home a comfortable place to be human. Learn that traditions are meant to be broken and recast, and that love and support for one another always takes precedence.
More on: Adjusting to New Motherhood
From What No One Tells the Mom by Marg Stark. Copyright © 2005. Used by arrangement with Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
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